Revivable?

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, so you should be completely enamored with me after my long time away. I've been feeling uninspired and unmotivated, which has led me to keep my distance. For that I apologize. Perhaps if I had written about my lack of inspiration & lack of motivation...I would have found myself inspired and motivated.

I'm headed back to Indiana on September 6th for a visit. I'll be there through September 14th, and I'm so excited! My mom called on Saturday and is already planning what movies we'll watch, and I love that she's so excited to see me. I miss her, and though I'm not always great about expressing that to her, it's true. I've been texting my bestest Brad regular countdowns so he doesn't forget that I'm coming. I'm so looking forward to seeing him. I love my friends here, and they all know me in different ways, but I just can't wait to get to spend time with someone who knows who I was, and can see who I am, and help me make sense of how to blend the two. I can't explain to my Cali friends the person I used to be in high school, so they can't connect the two parts of me. And that's okay. Not every friend I have is supposed to be able to help with that. That's why I have Brad.

I'm still feeling uninspired and unmotivated. Nothing has changed. I still don't feel like I have anything to write...but I'm writing anyway.

I've been going through my "Assorted Artists" CD's that I used to burn for myself, and I'm finding all sorts of songs I forgot about, and remembering why I love those "Mix Tape" CD's so much. I can go from Def Leppard to The Supremes to a song from Disney's Hercules in the span of a few songs. And I love it, because that's how I feel most of the time. I'm all over the map sometimes.

I guess that's all for now. I hope my inspiration comes soon. I don't know that I've ever truly been an inspired person, and maybe that's the problem. Maybe I'm just tired of waiting for it to come. Perhaps I should search for it instead. Maybe I need to make a little inspiration book of all the things I come across that make me feel alive and...well, inspired. Project!